Thursday, May 8, 2008

Enough for Mother's Day

Yesterday afternoon while Miles was still sleeping, Jason and I sat across from each other in the family room talking. Ella came in and lay across my lap tummy down. I played with her pony tail and started to rub her back. She continued to lay there for quite a long time as I rubbed her back. I started feeling really happy and then said to Jason that this made me really feel like a mom. I wondered if this was all I had once though motherhood was all about. Well I don't think so, I remember playing mom with my dolls and there was a lot of "work" involved feeding them and changing their clothes, but the truth is, when I'm taking care of the kids, making food for them (never fast enough or to their specification), listening to the crying and screaming and fighting amongst them (wondering where I went wrong), dealing with the problems (again wondering if I will ruin them for life), I don't feel like a mom, but some kind of unappreciated servent/short order cook/referee/inexperienced psychologist-behavioralist-developmentalist. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good times and I do love being a mom. But that moment with Ella enjoying my casual TLC, stress free, I just felt like I always thought it should feel like to be a mom.

So that is all I really need for Mother's Day. But the truth is, I know I'm getting so much more. Tonight is a fancy Mother's Day dinner at TMC and tomorrow is mother's night at Ella's preschool. So I consider myself very very blessed with more than I ever expected or wanted.

2 ripples:

Nilsa S. said...

I think it's wonderful you're being appreciated in your role as mother on more than just Mother's Day. Whether it's a purposeful celebration or the small moments with your kids, it's pretty clear to me you're doing a great job!

Junie Moon said...

Motherhood has lots of challenges but those precious little moments are the gems behind all we do. Have a fabulous Mother's Day weekend.

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