Ballet Attitude

I haven't written much about a very important part of my life, my physical conditioning. Now, I'm not as fit as I could be, but I strive to do the most I can with the time and resource I have been so graciously blessed with. I enjoy, yes ENJOY going to the gym. I like cardio work, I like lifting weights, I enjoy sit-ups and leg lifts, I struggle with stretching, but want (and work) so badly to be more limber. (Tight hamstrings!)

Another part of my conditioning, and desire to be fit is my love for dance. I am currently taking an adult ballet 2 class with a very reputable studio a couple towns over. I LOVE IT. Through the session I have somehow tweaked my attitude towards the class to get even more out of it.

At first I felt a little strange being an over 35 woman taking a ballet class. But there are women of all adult ages in the class.

Last year when I took the class I was more out of shape and still in the process of losing pregnancy weight. This year I am at a good weight and in better shape.

I started out the session very tense, worried about every move I made, getting mad at myself for mistakes. One day I decided to just relax. Yes, still try hard, but relax and enjoy. I felt the tension was really affecting my ability to improve.

Finally, I felt a little funny taking the class because, what is the end goal? Growing up taking classes I'd always dream of being a professional dancer, or at the very least performing in the next show. But who cares now if I perfect my craft? Well, I'm not sure what motivates me now but somehow I have concluded that I don't care if there is an official end goal. I still want to improve and polish my skills.

I think the bottom line is that dancing ballet makes me feel beautiful. I mean, I can make my body move in ways that are beautiful and I have control over that. It is something that I am creating from myself and from my soul. It has been quite a metamorphosis, but I'm excited about where I am now with my attitude towards my ballet study. Hopefully I won't do something stupid for a while (like fall down a flight of stairs and fracture my tail bone like I did last winter) that will preclude me from continuing to dance for a while.

Another thing I have learned in my adult dance "career" is that my attitude as a kid was wrong. I never thought I had it in my to be good enough to do anything really important with dance. But I could have. Even with some physical limitations, I could have worked through those. So I must remember to help my kids have a different outlook on their dreams, no matter how big those dreams may be.

Yes, my #1 dream was to be a dancer. #2 was to be a geneticist - well hey, I came pretty close to #2!