Monday, January 5, 2009

Last Straw

Today Miles, once again, refused to dance at dance class. I know I said I was going to keep him in the class and let it be an expensive lesson, but today I just had it. There is no good reason for him to sulk in the corner of the class while Ella and I sit in the dance hallway for 45 min and then another hour we wait out there until Ella's class (not to mention blowing that money on tuition).

I must have been visibly mad at him. Not mean, just not as affectionate as usual. He was acting like I have never seen him act. He was so affected by the fact that I was not so happy with him. He was taking the initiative in showing affection towards me. In the grocery store he'd kiss my hand or kiss me on the lips if I happened to lean down. It was as if he was trying to ask for forgiveness. Then tonight when I got home from the class I teach he was all about mommy, playing with me, hugging, kissing. Usually I am initiating hugs and kisses because he is so irresistably cute and I guess I hadn't been doing it as much as usual today because he wasn't seeming so cute. Well he noticed. I had never really seen so much affection initiated by him before. In a way it is nice. Nice to be assured that he really does love me, though I'd always suspected it.

It is such a shame he will not dance in class, because later he came up to his dad with a toy and asked him to fix something and then broke out into dance in pretty good rhythym with the music that was playing.

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Something that I find very sweet is that Ella WANTS to write her own thank-you notes and is actually doing it. She is so thoughtful and sweet. The other day she cut little red hearts out of paper and put them on my pillow. On an earlier day, she helped Miles draw a picture, put it in an envelope and put it under my pillow. This weekend we gave her 2 marshmallows for a treat. She offered one to me. I had to politely decline because I'm on a diet. She then offered it to Jason and he had to decline as well. So she then kept it to give to her brother the next day.

And my two little children who were pushing and squashing and fighting only a few months ago, now play together fairly well and are the first to say to each other "are you ok?" when they hear the other fall down or see them hurt themselves.

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As for my friend with the marital difficulties. Please keep praying. Only God knows what will happen, but support for her is coming out of the woodwork as she finally is taking a stand against the craziness and finally clueing people in to what is going on. She needs strength to get through this (whatever this may be) and he need help with some problems. And the kids... well I pray for them the most.

3 ripples:

Crystal said...

That's a bummer...maybe he will come around on his own. :)

Thanks for the vinyl offer...I just got a bunch with one of my last Joannes coupons. :)

Hope your week is going well! :)

Sarah and Jack said...

It took Jack a LONG LONG LONG time to work up the nerve to actually participate in classes and events like birthday parties. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy them, he just couldn't figure out how to comfortably get himself involved.

He is still reserved at the beginning of new things now, but once he gets the hang of it he joins in. Not with crazy gusto like some kids, but he is definitely in on the action.

I guess all of that is to say that for some kids it just takes awhile. He might simply not have the maturity yet to get himself in there, even if he REALLY wants to.

But it will come.

Give him time and keep exposing him to things so that he can continue to get used to the idea. (But I would definitely hold off on paying for expensive teams and stuff until he is ready, try to start smaller.)

Nilsa said...

That is a bummer about Miles. But, just because a classroom setting isn't working out doesn't mean you still can't encourage his dancing at home. Sounds like he enjoys it ... when it's on his terms.

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